8Sep24 Bad Job Bingo

In which we quickly go off the rails, tumble ass over head down a ravine, and land squarely in a sewage pit.

Get Hired

I play Bad Job Bingo with every job listing that appears in the Roundup and categorize them according to how well (or poorly, if I hit Bingo) they do in the game.

However, please remember that a job appearing in a positive category isn’t an endorsement of any role or company, and a job appearing in a negative category doesn't mean I think you shouldn't apply if it works for you. Bad Job Bingo is simply an effort to give you a shortcut to finding roles that may match your needs and values.

These and past contestants can be found at Support Human Jobs.

Green Means Go

No flags, or green flags only! A true unicorn.

• Product Manager, Support Experience ($179k-$269k) at Stripe (Remote US)
  • We have to be able to build things quickly to support the fastest growing startups and platforms in the world, while also being reliable, trustworthy, and sometimes profoundly boring. — Man, I can't tell you how refreshing it is to read something like this. Yes! Our tech should be reliable and boring! It's not good to move fast and break things!
  • Stripe's Careers page might be the most grounded I've ever read. I appreciate that.
  • You came to this page for a reason. Now we hope you’ll take the next step and come talk to us about whether one of our open roles is a good fit. We’re hiring talented people like you all the time. We hope you’re next. — I love welcoming statements like this that celebrate what candidates have to offer. It's just a nice change over that "Do you think you have what it takes to be a BeeBooJollyWobblyWoofer? Dance, minion!" nonsense.
  • This role sounds fascinating and the pay is fantastic. I see no flags, so we've got our first (and only?) Green Means Go of the week.
  • Also, I'm not sure if they're trying to draw candidates from different places for this one role or if they're hiring more than one Product Manager, Support Experience, but there are several other openings with this title available. There are also several other open Support positions of various types and levels, both in the U.S. and internationally.

Eh, It’s Probably Fine

A few flags popped up, but no serious ones.

• Senior Manager, Help Center ($151k-$245k) at Calendly (Remote US)
  • Seems like an awesome role with equally awesome pay.
• CX Systems Administrator III ($91k-$147k) at Calendly (Remote US)
  • Calendly's Career pages (yes, pages!) are some of the most informative I've seen. Very well done.
  • Seems like an interesting role that doesn't come up often. We have the usual suspects ("fast-paced, dynamic environment," hello darkness, my old friend), but otherwise, nothing especially worrisome.
  • Just make sure you pay attention to the states Calendly isn't registered in, as residing in those states makes you ineligible for employment.
• Customer Service Specialist: Evenings & Weekends ($55k) at 86 Repairs (Remote US)
  • Good Careers page, lots of honesty and personality. And I know I usually make fun of offering company-related perks as benefits, but this is cool: "Check Please" - quarterly stipend to spend at our customers' restaurants
  • We're looking for sharp people who want to contribute new perspectives to our community and help us grow. We value folks who are comfortable with rapid change and are excited to build a company together. We don’t have it all figured out, so we need team members who thrive on new challenges. — I think the "sharp people" bit is silly (as I always do), but otherwise, I appreciate they're honest and upfront about the nature of the company environment. It shows they care about being a good fit for potential candidates.
  • I know I've given jobs offering around $50k a hard time this week (you'll see in a minute), but for this role, a salary of $55k (combined with the excellent benefits) seems great.
  • The difference is that this role is pretty entry-level and offers an avenue for folks in hospitality-based customer service roles to transition into a remote tech support role, gaining valuable startup experience in the meantime.
  • I would hope 86 Repairs recognizes the value of loyal employees and promotes from within, but if not, this is a good way to get your foot in the door at a startup, get a few years of CX experience, and then move on to a better role.
  • Thank goodness for at least one solid Eh, It's Probably Fine.

Tread Carefully

Didn’t quite hit bingo, but there were several yellow flags or more than one red flag.

• Director, Customer Experience ($124k-$200k) at MeUndies (Onsite CA-Los Angeles)
  • Y'all, the noise I made when I saw "CX Director, MeUndies" in the #jobs channel in ElevateCX. WOOOOOOOOOO.
  • Okay, for real. I can do this. I am a serious professional.
  • The Director of Customer Experience will lead the charge in shaping and implementing our customer experience strategy, ensuring every interaction our customers have with our brand is delightful, seamless, and unforgettable. — SEAMLESS.
  • working closely with departments — Some might say cheek to cheek.
  • Highly motivated dreamer & doer — Candidate should eat lots of fiber.
  • adept at both strategic high-level thinking as well as execution — Only the highest levels of execution in MeUndies.
  • The base salary range for this full-time position is $124,000-$168,000 — They sure are paying bottom dollar!
  • Special mention -
    • Miles G: I guess a candidate would be bummed to lose.
    • Mat Patterson: Still a better role than being Director of Retention for Me Undies, where failure really is very public.
  • OKAY, FOR REAL, I'M DONE.
  • In all seriousness, MeUndies says, "This is a hybrid position of 4 days/week in our Los Angeles office," which, I mean, come on. That's on-site with one day telework authorized. Be at least a little more serious than me.
  • This is not me being snarky (intentionally, anyway), but they say this position will be reporting to the VP of CX, and a lot (if not all) of the duties of this position sound like something a VP would do, so I'm genuinely curious about what the VP of CX does at MeUndies.
  • A Master's degree is a plus. — I often wonder why companies want a candidate with a master's degree if they're not specific about the kind of master's degree they want to see. What does a master's degree bring to the table that a candidate with 10-15 years of highly specialized experience doesn't?
  • That bottom-dollar pun was terrible but apt. That range for an on-site role in Los Angeles is bad enough, but for a Director of CX (possibly doing the work of a VP)? Unimpressed Steph is unimpressed. All of that, combined with the fact that there's no Careers page to speak of, means this belongs in Tread Carefully.
• Director, Healthcare Support & Operations ("Competitive" comp not given) at Ōura (Remote US-San Francisco)
  • Their Careers page is...okay. Very salesy, and accidentally funny – apparently you'll only get "collaborative, smart teammates" at the Helsinki and Oulu offices, not in San Francisco. Just obstructive blockheads over there, I guess.
  • Maybe it's just me, but it feels like they're asking this Director position to do a lot. It almost reads as if they asked ChatGPT for a Director of Support & Ops job description and then didn't whittle it down at all to fit this specific role.
  • This position will be leading the Support team, managing customer onboarding, designing and delivering training, managing success and renewals, plus offering frontline technical support? It just seems like a hodge podge of duties that sounds good on paper if you don't have any idea what it all actually entails or what it would mean to actually do.
  • Expertise in go-to-market (GTM) operations encompassing the strategic and tactical processes involved in launching and delivering a product or service to the market effectively, and especially sales strategy and enablement. — Why? Why would we expect a Director of Support & Ops to have very specific strategic sales experience?
  • In-depth technical knowledge and problem-solving skills to address complex issues effectively. — Deep technical knowledge of what? What kind of problem-solving? WHO WROTE THIS.
  • While most offers will be closer to the starting range, successful candidates' pay will be determined based on job-related skills, experience, qualifications, work location, internal peer equity, and market conditions. — So you're saying that most candidates will be unsuccessful candidates despite the company extending offers to them? Again I ask: WHO WROTE THIS.
  • I mean, technically this hit BINGO, but most of the flags are yellow, and honestly, I find this JD more baffling than I do upsetting, so I'm putting it in Tread Carefully.
• Director, Support ($80k-$130k) at Instinct Science (Remote US)
  • It seems like a pretty straightforward Director role, but this is one of those times where playing Bad Job Bingo is more an art than a science because I'm getting a weird vibe from this job description.
  • There's just not a lot of information available about company culture, and while the high end of the salary range is reasonable enough, I think the low end is way too low, and again, they damage that salary transparency by asking for the desired salary on the application. I'm putting this in Tread Carefully just to be safe.
• Customer Experience Manager, Platinum Desk ($102k-$155k) at Robinhood (Onsite US-Denver, CO; Chicago, IL; Lake Mary, Florida; Westlake, TX)
  • “The talent that we hire today will build the products of tomorrow and will further drive us to fulfill our mission.” Vlad Tenev, Co-Founder and CEO — I love how they quote this like it's some visionary thing when really it's just a basic statement of fact.
  • At Robinhood, our culture thrives on in-person collaboration and a strong commitment to community. Most roles are office-based, with team members coming together at least three days a week to foster creativity and innovation. — This is not my jam, but I appreciate that they're upfront about being an office-based culture and aren't claiming that they're really hybrid to catch unsuspecting candidates.
  • Goofy "thought leadership" aside, Robinhood has an informative, thoughtful Careers page.
  • Lead 12-15 licensed Platinum Desk team members to produce outstanding results and improve their own skills — This is too many people for one person to lead effectively.
  • Leverage good business acumen and judgment to assist in negotiations and earning business — Nope! This is an inappropriate job requirement for a middle-manager role.
  • I'm on the fence about whether I think $102k-$155k is appropriate compensation for a role that's required to obtain and maintain more than one financial license, but the health coverage offered (100% for employees, 90% for families) is very good.
  • Overall, there are positive culture signals for the company, but I'm concerned that this position will be stretched too thin to provide the leadership and mentorship Robinhood wants to see, and there's some scope creep I'd ask about as an interviewee.
• Manager, Customer Service (“Competitive” comp not given) at 86 Repairs (Remote US)
  • At the heart of our company lies our Customer Service team, the driving force behind an exceptional customer experience. We are a rapidly scaling tech startup, and our team members are the power users of BOH, our cutting-edge software solution tailored to meet the evolving needs of our restaurant clients. — It's sad that a company speaking highly of its customer service team is notable, but since it is, I always like to highlight it when I see it.
  • This role requires precision, the ability to manage complex relationships, and a calm demeanor under pressure. It's not easy, but it’s rewarding—because solving problems for our customers is what we’re all about. — This is a good way to phrase this while being honest about the working conditions.
  • I'm surprised that they provide a salary range for their frontline role but not for this manager role; it's usually the other way around. The way the bullet is phrased makes me wonder if it's a genuine, accidental oversight, but regardless – the lack of salary transparency means this has to go into Tread Carefully.
• Customer Experience Team Lead ($90k-$100k) at Whatnot (Onsite US-Phoenix, AZ)
  • Work hard, have fun & do what you love to do. — So that's two red flags and we haven't even gotten past the header on the Careers page. I'm sure it'll be fine.
  • Another "Why work here?" section that's just "we're growing really fast!!!"
  • we’re hiring forward-thinking problem solvers across all functional areas. The Customer Experience team is responsible for driving the best possible user experience through process improvement, order management, and problem-solving. — So you're saying there are a lot of problems?
  • As a leader of this team, you will be responsible for ensuring that our team of agents dig into every ticket to the lowest level of detail — I do know what they mean here, but this is just funny.
  • You’ll take those insights and make Whatnot 1% better every day by partnering with driving cross-functional teams to fix gaps in our product or experience that negatively impact our customers. — Lowest level of detail, indeed.
  • You are a leader with a strong desire and natural ability to motivate a team — This is not how professional leadership works. It's never a good idea to lean on charisma to manage teams rather than skill gained through training and experience.
  • Also, if you've taken a shot every time they mention performance by this point, you are now sloppy drunk. Drink some water.
  • The salary is decent for a Lead role, but this isn't really that. Given the responsibilities, this really should be a Director, making the salary middling at best.
  • However: now that I've gotten all my snark out of the way (oh, who am I kidding, some of my snark out of the way), let's talk about the benefits (other than health/dental/401k), which are freaking amazing:
    • $150 monthly allowance for cell phone and internet
    • Care benefits: $450 monthly allowance on food, $500 monthly allowance for wellness, $5,000 annual allowance towards Childcare
  • That food allowance! The childcare allowance is probably an FSA based on the amount, but still, it's nothing to scoff at. In this economy, these benefits might make up for the middling salary, ngl.
  • However part deux: while this feels like it could be a young company still trying to figure out its culture and hiring practices, there are still some red flags that are hard to ignore, including asking for salary expectations in the application and an indication that it's been open for a long while, so I think it still belongs in Tread Carefully.
• Customer Experience Lead at Ramp (Remote US-Miami, FL; NYC, NY)
  • Not much to say about this one except that I'm irritated this leadership role is salaried and more adequately compensated while the frontline roles are not. That's some bullshit, Ramp.
  • Also, this is a giant red flag whipping around in the wind: Ability to fearlessly navigate giving and receiving feedback to managers and peers
• Customer Experience Agent ($47k-$55k) at Ramp (Remote US-Miami, FL; NYC, NY)
  • I don't know about Miami, but $46.8K – $55K is shitty pay for a non-entry-level fintech support role in New York, even if it's remote.
  • Ability to work on the weekends; Ability to work evenings and weekends as needed — It's fitting they repeat this – mirrors the shitty work conditions for shitty pay!
  • Benefits (for U.S.-based full-time employees) — I would confirm early in the interview process whether these benefits actually apply to this role, as the JD it states quite clearly that this is an hourly position.
  • As tempted as I am to put this in BINGO, it didn't quite make it there. So into Tread Carefully, I guess.

BINGO

Welp.

• Manager of Elite Customer Experience (“Competitive” comp not given) at Flex (Remote Worldwide)
  • No Careers page, just a list of openings.
  • You will have the opportunity to showcase your intelligence, compassion, and empathy, even in challenging situations. — That pig is looking so pretty in its lipstick!
  • Ability to remain calm and composed while multitasking and managing multiple priorities. Resourcefulness and creativity when operating within constraints. Exhibit kindness and patience when faced with challenging situations. — This is the job description equivalent of that "This is Fine" cartoon.
  • A passion for effective communication. — This made me laugh because I actually am passionate about effective communication, but come on.
  • I am frankly shocked that there hasn't been a reference to their "fast-paced, dynamic environment."
  • Join our team and be part of a dynamic environment where you can make a difference in providing exceptional customer support and contribute to the growth of our organization. — Nevermind.
  • The fact that the very vague and only mention of "excellent compensation and benefits (401k, life insur., PTO, paid medical, dental, vision, etc)" comes at the end of a five-bullet point "What We Bring" section is very telling about their culture.
  • So, this is not a manager role; this is a front-line role. My guess is that it would be the founding member of the Support team, and they could easily turn it into a more senior position if they gave this role more control over the company's support strategy and processes.
  • The 8 years of experience requirement tells me that they're at least aware that this role needs to be more senior, so if they're wise, they'll hire a long-time CX pro and then let that pro advise them. But, well. I won't hold my breath.
• Customer Experience Representative, Advanced Services ($57k-$69k) at Robinhood (Onsite US-Denver, CO; Chicago, IL; Lake Mary, Florida; Westlake, TX)
  • Creatively discover ways to improve productivity for the Customer Experience team — How about you creatively increase their pay and we'll see how it goes?
  • Display deep subject mastery of complex financial concepts like Equities Trading, Margin, and Options Trading — How about y'all display a deep subject mastery of human concepts like "not exploiting employees for maximum profit."
  • Master Robinhood's policies and procedures pertaining to complex customer scenarios and translate them into outstanding customer interactions — How about you master adequate compensation and then we'll talk.
  • Brings positivity to our ever changing business with an appetite to consume change as we enhance our business* — HOW ABOUT YOU BRING POSITIVITY TO EMPLOYEES' BANK ACCOUNTS SO THEY CAN CONSUME CHANGE AS THEY ENHANCE THEIR LIVES
  • I take back everything I said about positive culture signals at Robinhood. $56k-$68k for a bachelor's degree, multiple financial licenses, and deep mastery of trading, all for second-shift weekend work and potential mandatory overtime? It's enough to make you ask yourself: What would Robin Hood do in this situation?
  • *Don't ask me what this means. It's nonsense.
• Registered Customer Experience Representative ($50-$60k) at Robinhood (Onsite US-Denver, CO; Chicago, IL; Lake Mary, Florida; Westlake, TX)
  • This one is somewhat better for having lower requirements, but still. Boo.

Seriously, Maybe Don’t

Don't say I didn't warn you.

• Vice President, Customer Support (“Competitive” comp not given) at Apollo.io (Remote US)
  • Okay, my last run-in with Apollo.io was, uh, rough, so let's see if they've improved since then!
  • Their recruiting video is just a minute and change of people talking about how the company is growing and the product is growing and people should join to help grow the company and the product. Nothing about culture, professional growth, benefits, you know, silly things about why people should actually want to work for the company.
  • The rest of the Careers page is fine.
  • This role will drive the transformation of our support organization into a world-class team — That's a helluva dig at the existing team. Phew!
  • implementing cutting-edge technologies to enhance efficiency and personalization. — Hello AI!
  • Integrate customer service technologies, including AI and automation, to enhance efficiency and personalization. — LOL.
  • Implement crisis management protocols for handling escalations and challenging situations. Ensure swift resolution of escalations with professionalism and transparency. Identify and address systemic issues to prevent future escalations. — Soooo, things are pretty rough for the Support team over at Apollo right now. This could be due to poor product-customer fit, poor internal collaboration, honest growing pains, or all of the above.
  • Experience in crisis management and handling escalations effectively. — Really rough.
  • Besides the great compensation package — Ladies, gentlemen, undecided, and robots, it's the Incredible... Shrinking... Compensation Package! So great that you can't see it! Incredible because it's beyond imagining! Embark with Apollo.io on a fascinating adventure into the unknown!
  • and culture that thrives in openness and excellence — So open that you have no idea what you'll be paid!
  • We’re very collaborative at Apollo, so you’ll be able to lean on your teammates, even in adjacent departments, to help you achieve lofty goals. — Wow, you'll have...access to your own co-workers? What a dream!
  • Well, that is...certainly another job description from Apollo.io.
• Director of Support (No comp given) at Level (Remote-It is a mystery)
  • Every day is a blank slate at Level HQ. An opportunity to approach problems directly and honestly. To find simple, pure solutions that make each day easier. We always start at the beginning. We ask questions. We hold ideas in our hands, examining them from every angle. Only then do we start to design. And at every step in the process, we work together. Because our team is what makes our products elegant and practical—and what makes us Level. — Don't make me pull out "unsure if you're joining a cult or a company," Level. I'll do it. Don't think I won't!
  • Also, that is the whole of the Careers page. Seriously. That's it.
  • Together, our platform and services provide premium experiences for all those who live, work, and own multifamily communities. — That sentence is not grammatically correct, and it's driving me NUTS.
  • At Level, we take a unique approach to designing products - one that shifts focus from what we make to how we make it and who we make it for. — Okay, but...what you make is actually really fucking important, especially if it's a smart device in people's homes???
  • This leader will create a high performing Support team that provides fast response and resolution times, as well as excellent customer satisfaction scores. — Not provide fast responses and resolutions or excellent customer service, but fast TIMES and SCORES. Goddamn.
  • This is a new position and represents an exciting opportunity to build robust processes, systems, and standards that will help enable Level’s business growth and scale over the coming years. — Holy shit, y'all, seriously. Nothing about serving actual people! It's all about Level and its business growth. Honestly, this is gross. I feel dirty.
  • Design, improve, and manage Support workflows and playbooks, ensuring that cases are managed in a timely and effective manner from start to resolution. — Wouldn't want to inconvenience anyone at Level or take a single penny away from its bottom line!
  • Leveraging knowledge from customer experiences, take initiative to influence the product roadmap to prevent issues from occurring and improve the overall customer experience. — Oh wow, it's a single poultry nod to the customer experience. So touchy-feely, I'm gonna get emotional!
  • I got to the disclaimer and I thought, "that's a weird thing to call your EEO statement," but y'all. It's okay, it's not an EEO statement.
  • This role expectations document is not an exhaustive list of activities, duties or responsibilities that are required of you and you may be required to perform additional activities, duties or responsibilities. Level reserves the right to change, modify, suspend, interpret, or cancel in whole or in part, any of the role expectations outlined above at any time and without notice. You are reminded that your employment with Level is “at will,” meaning that either you or the company may terminate your employment at any time and for any reason, with or without cause. You must be able to perform the essential duties and responsibilities of the role satisfactorily and, if requested, reasonable accommodations may be made to enable employees with disabilities to perform the essential duties and responsibilities of their job, absent undue hardship. — Because nothing says Level's "company values of Quality, Growth, Team, and Care" like reminding potential candidates that you can fire them at any time at your slightest whim.
  • Okay! So I could say more about this, like how the Bad Job Bingo Shitposting Board of Directors pointed out that that statement isn't in the Engineer role that's also open or how there's only a single woman among a sea of dudes in the office picture on the Careers page but instead I'm going to go take a shower, y'all good for a minute? Cool.
  • Cool cool cool cool cool cool.