Roundup

15Feb24 Roundup: My Ego Dies At The End

We're all lost in a forest. Plus: more good news, and I read shitty company career pages so you don't have to.
15Feb24 Roundup: My Ego Dies At The End
In: Roundup, Listen Jensen McRae is an important part of my grieving process, there are literally zero Into The Woods jokes in this and I'm so disappointed in myself

In today's Roundup:
News from Around Supportlandia (and Beyond)
And Now for Some Good News
Read, Watch, and Listen
Get Hired
Upcoming Events


News from Around Supportlandia (and Beyond)

My Ego Dies At The End

So I was stressing that the Roundup is super late this week, until I reminded myself that it’s a weekly newsletter – I never say which day of the week it comes out. So there.

The truth is I’ve been putting off writing this piece for weeks, which is supposed to be about dealing with being unemployed, even though I want to write it. I think it’s because I was waiting for words that would be profound and helpful and balanced, but I realized today those words aren’t going to arrive.

Partially because I don’t really do profound,[1] but mostly because, if I’m being honest, I'm also not really feeling balanced. I’m frustrated and discouraged and really goddamned tired.

Yesterday was my 15th wedding anniversary. It’s not a big deal, neither my spouse nor I are big celebrators of anything, but when he came home and suggested we celebrate by going out to…Burger King! I thought: I’m not sure our financial situation can get more depressing than this.[2]

Which is really saying something, considering that, in the last week or so, all of our cars had some sort of major fault requiring repair, we’re currently monitoring our beloved corgi Dewey at home because she ate exactly nine Valentine’s Day chocolate chip cookies and we can’t afford to take her to the vet,[3] and our seven-year-old has a toothache which we’re hoping is just another tooth coming in because dental insurance is more a racket than it is insurance.

It was a three-of-a-kind, is what I’m saying. And if we were playing a game of poker, maybe I’d be winning, but we’re not. We’re playing “first to find a job doesn’t have to sell their house!” and a lot of us are losing.

If you can find an inkling of balance in all of this reality, please email me at getyourshittogethersteph@supporthuman.cx.

I mean, yes, I’m always going to work on keeping this newsletter balanced between offering positive and hopeful encouragement and acknowledging the grim reality a lot of us are facing.

But balance includes the mortifying necessity of feeling what we feel when we feel it. To pretend to be fine when we’re not is to just pile lies on exhaustion, loneliness on being alone. It’s better to be honest than to be alone.

Let me put it this way: if I admit I spent a good portion of last week sitting blankly on the floor in my shower while listening to Jensen McRae on repeat, that’s just a depressing existential crisis.

But if we all admit to sitting blankly on the floor of our showers and begin exchanging the best music to have an existential crisis to, well that’s practically a fucking party.

Or if I admit that, after receiving a $3000 bill from my mechanic for dismantling and reassembling my car to clean out the mysterious pink mold they found growing in it, I briefly but seriously researched the ROI of selling pictures of my feet on OnlyFans,[4] that’s just alarming and disturbing information you didn’t need. But if we all decide to sell our feet– okay, the metaphor breaks down a little here.

Let me ask you this: if you’re lost in a vast, dark forest, isn’t it better to be lost with a bunch of your friends, even if none of you really know the way out?

We’re all lost in a forest. And let’s be honest, it fucking sucks in here. But it sucks a little less knowing we’re all here, and we have a better chance of getting out together than by ourselves.

Last week, after talking to several folks who were just as exhausted as I am, I put out a call asking for thoughts and coping mechanisms about being unemployed (or underemployed, as the case may be). I’d love to make it a regular segment because I think we could all use a little reminder that we're not alone out here.

I’ll start (because fair is fair), but I’m sharing the rest with no commentary and minimal editing.

Steph:

Putting together this newsletter[5] is my coping mechanism. Healthy or not, it’s fun as hell and gives me the illusion of control over my professional life. Well, that and Bad Job Bingo, or – as I like to call it – Making Myself Unemployable One Bingo Game At A Time.

Anonymous:

My coping mechanism is to start a business. It gives me a sense of control to start something that could bring some money into my household. I try to find some alignment to my longer-term goals. For instance right now I'm starting to sell cement vases (we have made them as gifts in the past). Because I'm interested in how GenAI can help people and businesses I'm using it as a use case for me to learn. Similarly I'm starting GenAI workshops with a focus on moms. I'd doing them free first and then hoping to start charging. It gives me a goal and purpose to work towards.

Anonymous:

I could give you an unhelpful academic answer as to specific socio-political and religious conditioning on "forced optimism" as a cheap response to actually a much more expensive fixing problems approach.
It wouldn't help.
What you need to know is that complaining and the ability to foresee the negative outcomes will set you free of expectations and feeling of inadequacy. The idea that being negative or positive will in any way impact your ability to be successful has no scientific psychological basis. Obviously we feel negative when we got an undeserved kick in the face by capitalist society and the feeling of "negativity and hopelessness" is to help our brain process it and develop coping strategies. The most human response possible.

Jay Padzensky:

I continued to structure my days as if I was still employed gainfully. I found it helpful to also break this time down into the following buckets, but also observed that when I performed them without intention, I rarely saw any benefit. Note these buckets are also not mutually exclusive and many tasks can easily spread across multiple: Productivity, Self-care, Reflection, and DGAF.
Productivity can range anything from “job-related” like searching, applying, tailoring, networking, interviews, rehearsing interview questions, etc. However, it is also anything that makes me a bit better than the previous day. Perhaps this is starting or adding some time to a daily workout routine. Maybe it’s learning a new skill or as simple as reading. Whatever it may be, I identified and exercised activities that made me feel like I had improved that day. Then repeat it.
Self-care is so critical during these un/der-employed times because it was easy for me to wallow in self-pity, adopt less-than-ideal habits on a “temporary” basis, and honestly, beat myself up for getting rejected from yet another job. These are unprecedented times and few, if any, of us have previous experience of trying to find work for months on end during an extreme employers market. I try to keep in mind that none of this is my fault, I have incredibly valuable and marketable skills, and the correct situation will eventually reveal itself. Until then, as difficult as it may be, I affirm myself routinely and undertake tasks that restore my ability to remain positive.
Reflection has always been a safe place for me to feel my feels and attempt to consider more angles to how situations played out. It also gives me a chance to consider how I handled situations, what I said, how I acted, and think of what could have been better. After all interview processes from which I was rejected, I always requested feedback. Frequently, I was ghosted, but the rare occasions I received input, I tried to incorporate it in future interviews, practice and legit. Taking time out daily to reflect has been instrumental in my own growth.
DGAF, seriously. Sometimes you just run out of fucks to give. And that’s cool. Watching companies hit all-time high profits while laying off human beings, whom have lives and finite resources to meet their needs, to eke out pennies on the dollar stock price improvements is bound to enrage/disenfranchise/confuse/sadden many of us. It’s ok to want to (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ and in fact, some days I figuratively did. I did what I needed to, intentionally, to help reset me to my base. I couldn’t be my best if I had pent-up frustration. There’s no shame in letting off a little steam and hopefully, it even helps you in the short and long run.

Amiee Twigg:

It’s ok to have a breakdown, just don’t unpack and live there.
That saying keeps me going. It reminds me that I’m human and it’s ok to feel what I’m feeling without letting it consume me.

And Now for Some Good News

So many awesome humans doing awesome things this week:

Professional Helpers

A fun follow-up to last week's good news: Ashley Hayslett just launched her Professional Helpers newsletter! She sends CX jobs of all kinds right to your inbox every Friday. It's so pretty and organized and useful and I highly recommend it.

Read, Watch, and Listen

Read

Numa Dhamani and Maggie Engler wrote their new book, Introduction to Generative AI, to which friend of the newsletter Alice Hunsberger contributed her expertise (in the chapter Making Social Connections with Chatbots). The whole book sounds awesome!

Brian Levine wrote about how support is a dead-end job. And while you work through the strong emotional response that statement elicited (I know it did for me), don't let it prevent you from reading the piece – it's really good.

Declan Ivory wrote about the new economics of customer service in the age of AI.

Greg Shove and Taylor Mamsheimer gave some great advice about how to work high-low as an executive.

Scott Albro talked about why it's important to nurture the ability to be simultaneously pessimistic and optimistic.

Joel Gascoigne reflected on a decade of transparent salaries at Buffer.

Watch

Jeremy Watkin tackled how he would persuade customers not to cut the cord with their cable company.

CX Passport talked to Sam Stern about customer trust and confidence at LinkedIn.

Jack Jenkins did not throw away his shot in his application to tl;dv.

You're not crazy: ghost jobs are indeed a thing.

Listen

CX Files talked to Mike Harfield about creating meaningful and interesting career paths in CX.

Page It To The Limit talked to John O'Donnell about scaling support teams and people.

Get Hired

I play Bad Job Bingo with every job listing that appears in the Roundup and categorize them according to how well (or poorly, if I hit Bingo) they do in the game.

However, please remember that a job appearing in a positive category isn’t an endorsement of any role or company, and a job appearing in a negative category doesn't mean I think you shouldn't apply if it works for you. Bad Job Bingo is simply an effort to give you a shortcut to finding roles that may match your needs and values.

These and past contestants can be found on the Support Human Job Board.

Also, before we dive into today's Bad Job Bingo contestants, I feel like I should explain that although you see them in order of rating, the order I tackle them is pretty random. I don't really know what they're going to be like until I start playing Bingo with them, and this group – well. Let's just say I went on a real emotional roller coaster rating this batch.

Green Means Go

No flags, or green flags only! A true unicorn.

  • Customer Trust Manager - Complaints ($125k-$164k, location-dependent) at Mercury (Remote US, Canada, Optional on-site in San Francisco, Portland, NYC)
    • Albert Einstein humbly noted “It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer,” and that humble and persistent confidence encompasses the ethos of the new Customer Trust Manager focusing on complaints as our first order of business. – I can't decide if quoting Albert Einstein in a job description is cute or weird.
    • I'm leaning toward cute, because this actually seems like a really neat job, and I've detected no flags. Our first Green Means Go of this week!
  • Senior Customer Experience Manager ($125k-$155k) at Alma (Remote Contiguous US)
    • Alma's job descriptions are pretty consistently great.
  • Head of Technical Support Engineering ($195k-$247k) at Apollo GraphQL (Remote US, Canada)
    • I really like this company's Careers page, it's informative, thoughtful, and comes across as candidate-first.
    • Job description is refreshingly free of "fast-paced, dynamic company" and "rockstar" language that's been so prevalent today. Salary's a little wide, but more than appropriate. This one might be a keeper!
  • Director, Technical Support ($120k-$150k, w/ 15% annual bonus) at Bonterra (Remote US)
    • As Director, Technical Support, you will lead a group of skilled technical support specialists and engineers, who provide exceptional technical support to our Global Bonterra Support clients[..]. – I genuinely appreciate their framing here, that you'll be leading folks who are already providing great support. It's really refreshing.
    • Willing to learn, adapt, and evolve with a growing team and evolving company. – NARY A MENTION of "fast-paced, dynamic environment" my god I didn't think it was possible.
    • Strong problem-solving skills with technical agility and creativity. – They describe what they want instead of just slapping "critical-thinker" in a sentence and calling it a day! My crops are flourishing, my skin is clear, my bagels are perfectly toasted, tikkun olam everybody.
    • Who wrote this job description and where can I send an entire assortment of their favorite treats?
    • Job application is through Workday AND I DON'T EVEN CARE.
  • Training & Document Specialist ($56k-$101k) at Bonterra (Remote US)
    • This one is good too. Ignore any weeping you might hear.
    • The salary range is kind of wide, but it's okay because IT'S A UNION POSITION. A UNION. FOR REAL. (CWA Local 1400, 2336 or 13000)
    • Yes it's still Workday but just let me have this one, okay?

Eh, It’s Probably Fine

A few flags popped up, but no serious ones.

  • Senior Manager of Customer Support ($100k-$130k) at AllTrails (Remote US, San Francisco)
    • Given the listed duties and that this position reports to the VP of Operations and will collaborate closely with senior leadership, it really needs to be more senior than a Senior Manager (I'm thinking at least a Director of Support, if not Head of).
    • As a result of the misalignment between duties/seniority and title, the salary for this position feels a little low.
    • If not for the above, I'd have put this job in Green Means Go – the description is otherwise thoughtfully written, the Careers page is informative, and the benefits are excellent.
    • Actually, just took a look at the application and saw that it asks for an applicant's current location and current company, both of which are unnecessary info that they could probably just get from your resume anyway. Don't love that.
  • Senior Technical Support Engineer ($95k-$118k) at Apollo GraphQL (Remote US, Western time zones, some travel required)
    • Title appears as both Senior Technical Support Engineer and Senior Technical Solutions Engineer in the job description. whispers please don't require attention to detail, please don't require attention to detail...
    • You thrive in a fast-paced, collaborative work environment – Goddamn it, Apollo, you were doing so well!
    • The Must Haves section makes this essentially a highly-skilled senior communicator/engineer role, which makes the salary way too low for what they're asking for.
    • I'm putting this in Eh, It's Probably Fine because the other culture flags are green, but I would recommend asking some pointed questions about the salary if you apply.
  • Director – Product Support ($115k-$225k) at Veeva Systems (Remote Columbus, OH, US Eastern or Central time zones, some travel required)
    • Veeva is a Public Benefit Corporation.
    • There are a bunch of other Support and Support Engineering roles available.
    • Work Anywhere does not mean work at any time. We have predictable core hours where employees are generally available for meetings and collaboration. Employees are focused and available during core hours. – I don't agree with this, but I think it's a green flag that they're upfront about it.
    • We invest in our offices to make them places where our employees like to go. If you work in the office three or more days a week, you will have a dedicated office workspace. Our offices function as hubs to draw people in, create social bonds, and where random connections and mixing of ideas happen. We’re investing more in offices, culture, and offsite meetings, not less. – Again, I don't like it personally, but the honesty is a good thing – it means they care about being a good fit for candidates and not doing bait-and-switches. I love that.
    • The only red flag for me (and why it's in Eh, It's Probably Fine instead of in Green Means Go) is the very wide salary range accompanied by this: The salary range listed here has been provided to comply with local regulations and represents a potential base salary range for this role. Please note that actual salaries may vary within the range above or below, depending on experience and location.
  • Senior Director, Technical Support Engineering ($212k-$311k) at Datadog (Hybrid US-Denver, CO, Boston, MA, San Francisco)
  • Customer Care Manager ($70k-$90K) at Sundays for Dogs (Remote US)
    • This seems okay? They're honest about the fact the company's experimenting with what works and what doesn't, which I appreciate, and the pay is pretty good for a non-technical, actually mid-level manager role.
  • Member Experience Associate ($24/hr, plus overtime pay) at Sundays for Dogs (Remote US)
    • I think the pay is a little low for the level of the work this role will be doing, but then I pretty much always think CX folks should be paid more.
    • The reason I'm okay with putting this in Eh, It's Probably Fine is that the company is pretty straightforward about the expectations and challenges of this role, which means they do care about being a good fit for applicants.
    • "Dynamic, fast-paced environment" remains a splinter in my mind's eye, however.

Tread Carefully

Didn’t quite hit bingo, but there were several yellow flags or more than one red flag.

  • Customer Success Manager ("Competitive" comp not given) at Verve (On-site in San Francisco, 75% travel required
    • Not to be a corporate shill, but this company's product – the SafeLift Suit – looks cool as fuck and seems like something that could actually make a difference in a blue-collar worker's life.
    • Unparalleled work ethic and customer-focused attitude – Ehhhh don't love the work ethic bit. Sounds like a euphemism for "must be okay with being overworked."
    • This is a field-based role that requires 75% travel to support the customers in the XXXXX region. Centrally located near XXXXX. – LOL.
    • It's a neat, actually useful product, but there are some definite red flags in the job description, so I advise caution and strategic questions if you end up interviewing.
    • Several Customer Success Manager positions open across the U.S.
  • Technical Customer Service Associate – (English) ($40k-$55k) at Veeva Systems (Remote Columbus, OH)
    • I really, really hate when the salary is good for leadership roles but poor for frontline roles.
    • The salary is especially egregious considering that it's billed as a technical role, with fluency in Spanish or Portuguese as a nice-to-have. I literally booed when I read that.
  • Senior Customer Success Manager ($90k-$130k) at Skopenow (Remote US Eastern time zones)
    • By fusing public cameras, crime data, satellite imagery, consumer records, social media, vehicle data, and much more, Skopenow delivers actionable insights and comprehensive intelligence to identify emerging threats. – Coooooooooooool.
    • Other than the product being a dystopian nightmare and the fact that "View Open Positions" just directs back to LinkedIn, the job itself is okay. There's a misalignment between the duties of the role and the job title, and the salary is oddly wide. I think this goes firmly in Tread Carefully.

BINGO

Welp.

  • Director of Customer Success ("Competitive" comp not given) at Level Access (Remote US)
    • I had high hopes for this one, but the "energy" verbiage, the positivity stuff, calling health and dental a "perk" instead of the very important benefits you offer your employees in exchange for their labor...it leaves a bad taste in the mouth, you know?
    • Especially for an accessibility company. Reading through this was a bizarre experience. Take this, for example: "Level Access is committed to workforce diversity. Equal Opportunity Employer." That's their entire EEO statement. The whole job description comes across this way, very phoned-in.
  • Customer Success Manager ("Competitive" comp not given) at Level Access (Remote US)
    • This job description (JD) is 2-3 times longer than the Director of Customer Success JD, despite the role supposedly being much less senior. It's just weird.
  • Director, Customer Support ($170k-$200k) at Scout Motors (Hybrid Columbia, SC, Detroit, MI, San Francisco, Tyson's Corner, VA)
    • This job is listed as remote but it's really hybrid based on the Location & Travel Expectations section. Be sure to read that part.
    • A passion for building and empowering a cross-functional, positive, and inclusive team capable of providing a 5-star customer experience in every interaction. – This is the second time they mention positivity in the "What You'll Bring" section and I'm translating that into "won't mention the challenges or problems that need to be solved in order to deliver a 5-star customer experience in every interaction."
    • The benefits of joining Scout include the chance to build products and a company from the ground up. This is a chance to create something new and lasting – with an iconic brand at its foundation. – Y'all. Whenever a company mentions the actual benefits of a job as "in addition" to the PRIVILEGE and SPLENDOR of simply working for said company, as if being able to feed and provide for the health of your family is secondary to supporting an "iconic brand," well that is a major red flag. It tells you a lot about what the company's priorities are, and what they think your priorities should be when you join them.
    • WHILE WE ARE ON THE SUBJECT, attention hiring managers: Stop putting shit like the "prestige and opportunity of shaping a dynamic company from the chaotic beginning" in the Benefits section of a job description. IT IS NOT A BENEFIT, IT IS A PITCH. (Also, sometimes it's a GIANT RED FLAG WHIPPING WILDLY IN THE WIND but whatever.) Put that shit at the beginning of the description, where you're selling a candidate on your company. That's fine! That's where it belongs! Putting it in the Benefits section makes you sound like a kumquat who says things like, "Just think of the EXPOSURE you'll get!" It's embarrassing. You're embarrassing us. Stop it.
  • Application Support Specialist ($90k-$100k) at Scout Motors (On-site in Novi, MI)
  • Senior Customer Success Manager ($70k-$140k) at Journey (Remote US)
    • From the Careers page: Feedback is not helpful but required. – LOL, what a Freudian slip.
    • Make sure you check out the Benefits section on the Careers page. The benefits aren't terrible, but also not great.
    • That is a conspicuously wide salary range. Like. Suspiciously wide.
    • I'm gonna be honest: parts of this job description read to me like the unfiltered ramblings of a 40-something divorced white woman who's just discovered hot yoga.
  • Director of Customer Service (Support) (No comp given) at Legacy.com (Remote Certain US States)
    • Careers page nearly hits BINGO even before we get to the job description.
    • Ability to perform in a fast paced, highly accountable environment. – Do you read this as "will be micro-managed despite constantly-changing and poorly-communicated priorities"? Because that's how I read it.
    • Company overall seems obsessed with "critical thinking" as an attribute, which makes me picture an office where people are, like, constantly running into closed doors. "Bob, Bob! She turned the doorknob! We're free! PUT HER RESUME ON THE TOP OF THE PILE."
  • Support and Solutions Specialist ($47k-$52k) at Legacy.com (Remote Certain US States)
    • I'm not sure there's anything more suspicious culture-wise than a company listing "casual dress" as a benefit.
    • Or – as my friend Alexis pointed out – that they list just one snack as a benefit.
    • I'd also like to point out that this is, of course, a remote role.
  • Support Associate (No comp given) at Pulley (Remote-US, Canada)
    • I'm positive self-talking my way through these Careers pages. "Maybe it won't be that bad! It could be totally fine. Don't be afraid."
    • I think there's a lot of performance about culture happening on Pulley's Careers page, especially considering the explanation of culture they link to is a Twitter thread from 2020.
    • It's hard to take all the values talk about being "Boldly Honest and Aggressively Considerate" seriously when they can't even consistently list a salary range for roles.
    • Oh hey, look at that: all Engineering roles get salary transparency!
    • Yeah, I'm calling bullshit.
  • Customer Support Lead (No comp given) at Pulley (Remote-US, Canada)
    • There's a misalignment between the duties of this position and its seniority, and before you come at me with "they don't do titles! dudebro noises", they're at this very moment advertising for a Director of Engineering, so clearly they're familiar with the concept of leveling.
    • See Pulley's Support Associate role for the "culture" bullshit that has me so grouchy.
  • Customer Service Representative Supervisor (Will not exceed $50k) at Acentra Health (Remote US)
    • First company I've come across where there are more female executives than male executives. And they're not all white! (Just mostly white. Baby steps, I guess.) (Steph's note after going through the whole thing: LOL. Look how cute I am.)
    • Oof, let this be a lesson to me not to finalize my notes before I look at everything. The job description is harmless enough, but the real hints at culture and work environment are in the job application.
    • It gives you the option to upload a photo (ew), asks for your desired salary, and at the very bottom of the application (right before the submit button, after you've done all the work), there's this: This position will not exceed $24/hr., is that acceptable to you?
    • Let me go ahead and answer that: No, less than $49,920 for a mid-career, supervisory position should not be acceptable.
  • Customer Service Representative (No comp given) at That's Great News (Remote US-Wallingford, CT)
    • Steph's note after publishing: This one originally appeared in Tread Carefully but I got word from a reader that it might just be a scam. Approach with extreme caution.

Seriously, Maybe Don’t

Don't say I didn't warn you.

  • Director of Technical Support (No comp given) at Netwrix (Remote US)
    • Uh. Buckle in, my friends, because this one is A RIDE.
    • I'm not entirely sure the Goals and Ethos statements aren't a parody of corporate mission and values statements. Also, are the "Our Ethos" statements supposed to be read as a sentence? Am I supposed to read these like hieroglyphs? I AM CONFUSION.
    • Hire and retain great talent in a diverse and encompassing workplace. – What...what does that mean?
    • Do you love career challenges, forums in which to collaborate with bright colleagues, and an opportunity to truly make a difference…then you’re on the right Careers Page! – I swear to god if they list attention to detail as a requirement...
    • We are looking for a detail-oriented... – MOTHERFU–
    • The random underlining. The changing font size. The different font colors. My eyes, they hurt.
    • Communicate clear vision and purpose across the business to help to draw the connection between direct support work and our broader company goals. – This position reports to the VP of Global Support, so this begs the question: what is the VP of Global Support doing, then?
    • Have a direct communication line to executive leadership to discuss the department’s vision, performance and barriers that are preventing the team from achieving their goals. – This sounds at best ominous and, at worst, a recipe for disaster. Are you just skipping your boss, the VP, entirely?
    • Develop an effective resourcing model that accounts for all resources needed by the Technical Support business to service new and existing customers, as well as ensure quality and response time are not affected by turnover. – As my friend Nicole pointed out, how bad is the turnover that you're mentioning it in the job description you're using to convince people to do this job?
    • Identifying opportunities for a menu of paid professional services that the support team could deliver in order to generate revenue. – Because nothing says success and stability like using your support team to desperately mine for revenue!
    • Continuous improvement focus, identifies root issues and experiments with fresh approaches that challenge existing ways of working in a good way. – WHAT IS A GOOD WAY OMG I CANNOT
    • All Told…We’re a Culture that Truly Cares About our Employees, and Their Voice to Help Us Thrive! – What is going on at this company. Is the person who wrote this okay? Blink twice if you're being held hostage.
    • I don't even know how to end this one. I might need to walk it off.
  • Director of Support & Intelligence (I DON'T EVEN THINK THEY KNOW) at Certificial (Remote IT IS A MYSTERY)
    • Employer-paid STD...............................I am BEGGING hiring managers not to use acronyms unnecessarily.
    • Special employee discounts – WHY IS THIS A BENEFIT. WHY.
    • These Benefits sections are killing me. I can *feel* my life force draining away.
    • My new tagline is going to be: Bad Job Bingo: I read shitty Careers pages you don't have to
    • You are responsible for providing a high-quality customer experience for the platform’s users, by building an automated, scalable support operations function. – Oh, that's a bad sign.
    • Improve upon the artificial intelligence and automation systems to further enhance the customer experience and scalability of the Support Operations teams. – I don't think "high-quality customer experience" means what you think it means.
    • Demonstrate problem-solving, conflict resolution, negotiation, and de-escalation skills. – That's it, I'm breaking out the booze. I am officially day-drinking.
    • Other Functions section: Ability to plan schedules and organize workload to meet deadlines, Work cross-functionally with other teams, Adhere to company policies, procedures, and guidelines, Other duties as assigned. – Holy shit, what was the person in this role doing before?
    • Ability to compose grammatically correct, concise, and accurate written responses and notations. – I AM DYING
    • The base salary range for US-based employees is $50,000-$500,000. – Are you fucking kidding me.
  • Principal Customer Success Manager (I DON'T EVEN THINK THEY KNOW) at Certificial (Remote IT IS A MYSTERY)
    • You will own the post-sale customer lifecycle from onboarding to expansion and renewal. The post-sale expansion opportunity is the largest in our ecosystem, and you will be responsible for capturing it. – Like...all of it?
    • Customer Success is a team sport; you will be responsible for ensuring everyone in the organization is engaged with customers at a meaningful level. – That doesn't sound like a team sport, that sounds like a death sentence.
    • This role will receive a competitive base salary, bonus, benefits, and options. The base salary range for US-based employees is $50,000-$500,000. [...] Please continue to apply if you are unsure that you fit into our compensation structure. WHAT COMPENSATION STRUCTURE?
    • Now I'm drinking because it feels like I'm having a wake for whomever they convince to take this job.

Upcoming Events

Navigating Change: Turning Layoffs into Your Next Career Chapter
February 16, 2024 at 1:00pm ET. Fireside chat hosted by Support Driven, featuring Labi Francis Onuformi (Language I/O) and Sean Tanos (Ocado Group). Register here.

Messaging Malware Mobile Anti-Abuse Working Group (M3AAWG) 60th Annual Meeting
February 19-22, 2024 in San Francisco, CA. Register here.

Mastering Connections: The Art of Building and Nurturing Client Relationships for Lasting Success
February 20, 2024 at 12:00pm ET. Fireside chat hosted by Support Driven, featuring Alex Canedo (Consultant) and Jenny Dempsey (Consultant). Register here.

The Write Investment: Calculating ROI for Effective Documentation
February 21, 2024 at 12:00pm ET. Webinar hosted by KnowledgeOwl, featuring Caity Cronkhite (Good Words) and Veronica Calvage (Knowledge Owl). Register here.

Strategies and Solutions for Slack-Powered Customer Experience
February 21, 2025 in San Francisco, CA. In-person expert panel hosted by Slack. Featuring Vidhya Vijayakumar (Codefresh), Rachel Wu (Iterable), Vlad Shlosberg (Foqal), Chris Martinez (Idiomatic), and Kat Gaines (PagerDuty). Register here.

Constructing Customer Delight: The Blueprint Begins with a Knowledge Base
February 27, 2024 at 12:00pm ET. Webinar hosted by KnowledgeOwl and Support Driven. Register here.

Gladly Connect Live 2024
March 25-27, 2024 in Scottsale, AZ and virtually. Register here.

Support Driven Leadership Summit
March 26-27, 2024 in San Diego, CA. Register here.

Write the Docs Portland
April 14-16, 2024 in Portland, OR. Register here.

ElevateWomen 2024
May 29-June 1, 2024 in San Antonio, TX. Call for speakers open now.

Support Driven Expo
May 14-15, 2024 in Las Vegas, NV. Call for proposals open now.


LinkedIn Post from Andy Dale: "Kelce yelling @ Coach Reid during the Super Bowl = "You don't need the right to an on site audit of our 'facilities' everything is in the cloud!!!! It's 2024!!"

  1. I do fucked up or funny, or — if I’m really lucky — fucked-up funny. ↩︎

  2. This is hyperbole. I’m up most nights imagining the myriad ways our financial situation could get more depressing, believe me. ↩︎

  3. She seems fine. You’ll know if that changes because you’ll hear my wails of devastation echoing out into the universe. ↩︎

  4. Although, since we’re being honest, I think we all know I’d make way more money scolding techbro founders for being the absolute fucking worst. ↩︎

  5. While listening to Jensen McRae on repeat. ↩︎


That's it for this week! If you have items for the Roundup you'd like to submit, you can do so at roundup@supporthuman.cx, but be sure to check out the Roundup FAQs first.


All of Support Human's content is free forever for individuals. You can power this content with a coffee, by subscribing, or by sharing to your networks! Any support is welcome and hugely appreciated.
Written by
Steph Lundberg
Steph is a writer and Support leader/consultant. When she's not screaming into the void for catharsis, you can find her crafting, hanging with her kids, or spending entirely too much time on Tumblr.
Comments
More from Support Human
Table of Contents
Great! You’ve successfully signed up.
Welcome back! You've successfully signed in.
You've successfully subscribed to Support Human.
Your link has expired.
Success! Check your email for magic link to sign-in.
Success! Your billing info has been updated.
Your billing was not updated.